02-25-18_11-33-56 AM

I tried to pretend like everything was normal but I just…I felt so strange.
Probably from the probing.
I was gaining weight really fast, even though I was jogging everyday.
I knew what was happening, but does any man want to admit it?

Gideon, are you okay?

02-25-18_11-51-29 AM

Yeah Sara, I’ve just been feeling so weird lately.

You look like you’re getting fat.


02-25-18_11-51-49 AM

Oh god, please say negative.
or not pregnant.
or whatever these things are supposed to say when you aren’t carrying a fucking anal probe baby.

02-25-18_11-59-14 AM

Yeah.  It’s not supposed to say that.


02-25-18_11-59-25 AM


This was not in the cards.
I wonder what Uncle Fyrre will think.
I wonder what Mom will think.

FUCK!  What is Jenni going to think?
And the girls?!
How am I going to fucking explain this to Haley, Harper, and Hazel?!

Hey Mom!  Good timing!

What’s up kiddo?

02-25-18_11-59-44 AM

No big deal.  Just took this pregnancy test and I’m pregnant from that alien abduction so YAY right?  I mean, who doesn’t want to be a pregnant 30 year old male?

02-25-18_12-00-11 PM

Son, that’s really exciting!  Another alien in the family!

How do I explain this to the kids?

Easily son.  Just tell them.  I’m blue, I think they’ve figured out humans aren’t the only species that can have babies.

02-25-18_12-00-13 PM

I guess you’re right.  I bet it’s a lot easier for me to talk about this than it was for Grandpa Ezra.

It will be.  Ezra was the first man in Newcrest to be abducted by aliens and then returned pregnant.
It wasn’t something people knew about.  Until my dad came along, aliens were in hiding.  They wore their disguises and hid from the public.  Even as a child, Dad was fascinated with aliens.  He was so sure we existed, he spent years trying to prove it and he was only 11 when Newcrest discovered it’s first alien.  A small toddler was found running around town.  His mom hasn’t locked the door or something, I can’t remember the story.  Turns out, the country had plenty of aliens living here.  Dad just helped us have a voice sweetie.  If it wasn’t for my Dad discovering that toddler in the middle of town, and how much sway the family held with the town council…who knows what could have happened.  We could have ended up science experiments, like in America.  Area 51 is real and it’s an aliens worst nightmare.

02-25-18_12-00-20 PM

Wow.  That’s intense Momma.

It is son, but I know you and Jenni will raise that baby to grow into a strong man.  Just like his father.

Mom was right, of course.
Breaking it to Jenni wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be.

02-25-18_12-05-03 PM

Pregnant?!  Well, at least you’re getting the stretch marks and not me!

02-25-18_12-05-21 PM

I’m glad you’re okay with it.  I was worried at first.

Worried about what?

It’s just…it’s strange, right?  Plus, you are the one who wanted another baby.  I wasn’t totally sold on the idea.

You’re part alien yourself, aren’t you?  If your mother is half alien, that makes you a quarter alien.  That makes our girls like 12.5% alien.  Have they even coded alien DNA?  You have an ancestor who is a vampire and a mother, aunts, and uncles who are aliens.  You’re whole family is strange my love.  Plus, like I said before.  If you’re carrying the baby, that means I won’t get any more stretch marks!

I didn’t really think of it like that.  You’re right, as usual.  You and Mom are always right.

02-25-18_12-05-30 PM

Man, I’m so lucky.

Jenni was thoroughly excited to welcome a baby into the home, Mom was excited for another grandchild (she’s already got like…15 or some shit).  She has already started suggesting names.  Her favorite is Hamilton.  Ehh, we’ll see Mom.


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