5.10

Journal,

08-07-17_12-52-45 PM

Married life isn’t much different from before.  She officially moved in which is nice but she was here so much before Mom always made the joke that she lived here.

08-08-17_1-18-03 PM

We both had our hobbies and our work and we balanced everything really well.

I knew not to bother her while she painted and she knew if I had a bad day at work just by looking at me.

And she always knew how to make it better.

08-08-17_1-13-31 PM

Hey baby!

Oh jeez, your face…bad day?

No way!  It was great!

Don’t lie to me Diesel Michael.  No amount of fake smiling will dissuade me.

08-08-17_1-25-13 PM

You’re right.  Carol was just being so ridiculous!  I’m not going to add one of her random spices to a drink just to please her.  If it’s cohesive, sure!  But it tastes like the juice from the bottom of the Panda Express garbage can.

And how, might I ask, do you know what that tastes like?

Well…before you knew me…

Stop it.  Don’t talk.

08-08-17_1-28-04 PM

What did I do to deserve her?  Karma is going to kick the shit out of me one day.

08-08-17_2-44-56 PM

Mom never says anything about our sex life but I know she’s got to be aware of the fact that we do it almost everywhere.

She’s trying to mentor Pheebs on the treadmill but my babe ain’t about that.
She hates exercise.
Loathes it.

tumblr_nievoaDgEE1sjcg5bo4_500

If you aren’t stable, you have to hold on to the side arms.

DON’T FUCKING TELL ME TO HOLD ON TO THE SIDE ARMS WHEN I’M ALREADY DOWN!

08-08-17_3-03-30 PM

You need a drink.  Come on.

08-08-17_2-57-05 PM

Feel better?

Much.  Thank you.  Sorry for yelling at you.

Don’t worry about it.  Fitness isn’t for everyone.

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Journal,

08-08-17_3-05-47 PM

We’ve only been married for three days but Phoebe really hasn’t pulled back on the woohoo.  She routinely wakes me up in the morning by giving me a blowjob.  Best.  Alarm.  Ever.

Then she spends her days painting.  She even got Mom in to it a bit.

Much easier than jogging all day.

Ehh.  To each their own.

08-08-17_3-12-01 PM

Then…last night…we were spending quality time in our room when we heard some strange noises from the living room.  Honestly, it sounded like an orgy.  There was a ton of moaning and groaning and a bit of squealing.  We figured Mom was watching some crazy movie that had accidentally spun into a porn.

08-08-17_3-18-18 PM

We were wrong.

WHAT THE HECK?!

08-08-17_3-37-13 PM

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All I saw was three pairs of feet and I spun right back around in to my room.

I knew Mom had a new boyfriend…but two?

08-08-17_3-28-39 PM

Were there two men?
What in the world was going on out there?

Mom…please warn us, or better yet, you have your own room!

It’s so vanilla doing it in your own room.  You would know!  You and Phoebe fuck where ever you feel like it.  This couch is probably covered in —

08-08-17_3-41-11 PM

Okay Mom, I get it.  It’s your house too…but at least warn us.  “Hey you two lovebirds, stay in your room for the next hour.”

Or three.

08-08-17_3-41-24 PM

Jeez Mom!

It’s all just fun.  I miss your father…more than you know right now.

I get it Mom…I get it.

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Journal,

Mom decided to have a costume party to get everyone over.

08-08-17_3-45-08 PM

Babe, I told you to see what everyone was wearing.  You told me no one was going to be a hotdog.

Oh.  I meant “your sister is going to come as a hotdog.”

You’re such a snollygoster!

08-08-17_3-44-56 PM

Darcie is pregnant…again.  This is her…fifth?  Fourth?  Sixth?  Too many, that’s for sure.

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I spent the party dressed as a pizza delivery guy and served drinks.

08-08-17_3-45-15 PM

Mom enjoyed having everyone over, even if Dorian and Dustie came in almost identical costumes.

08-08-17_3-48-31 PM

But that costume party gave Pheebs an idea…

What are you wearing?

I see you changed into the outfit I gave you.

Yes…is there another costume party?  I’m pretty tired.

PARTY?!  There is no party!  I’ve captured you!

08-08-17_4-09-12 PM

Baby, you’ve had me.

Sergeant Grey, I assure you that I had nothing to do with the recent thefts!

…what?

I said –

Miss Red, I KNOW you are behind them!  You left your fingerprints!

You can hardly prove those are mine!

08-08-17_4-09-23 PM

And that was the start.  She was obsessed with role play.

She would come home with costumes almost every day, sometimes multiple costumes.

By far my favorite was the Star Wars night.

08-08-17_4-13-01 PM

It was a little strange because she was Luke Skywalker and I was Darth Vader…she said since the Luke costume was for females, she just assumed it was a random pilot.

Either way, that was the BEST time.  For me at least.

08-08-17_4-13-41 PM

It was also the time we conceived.

Pregnant?

08-08-17_4-14-41 PM

Yes…surprise!

08-08-17_4-14-47 PM

That’s amazing news!

It is?

Of course it is!

I know we haven’t really talked about it…so I wasn’t sure if you’d be thrilled.

It’s the next step baby.  Of course I’m thrilled.

08-08-17_4-15-26 PM

What did I do to deserve you Diesel?

That’s my line.

youremine

Being pregnant didn’t change her sexual appetite though.

08-08-17_4-17-43 PM

No more costumes for now.

Who are you and what have you done with my wife?

Those costumes aren’t meant for pregnant sims.

08-08-17_4-22-20 PM

Good point.  It’s whatever you want babe.

08-08-17_4-22-28 PM

GROSS!  VOMIT!  PUKE!

Real mature Mom.

That’s me!

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She’s just jealous.  Her boyfriend seems really nice but he’s no Arjun.  We’re here, happy and in love, and she’s settling.

She had her happy years.  Her first relationship was similar to mine except that she wasn’t the bad guy in hers.

You weren’t the bad guy with Joelle.  I mean, not totally.  She liked being pushed and bossed around.  She got off on it.

And now she’s happily (question mark) married to some old guy with a couple kids.

08-08-17_4-22-45 PM

She’s happy in a different sense.  Her husband understands that she is attracted to everyone so he doesn’t care that she has other partners, he just wants to make sure that she only has HIS children.

That seems really strange.

Shut up and blow our your candles, you old man.

08-08-17_4-25-01 PM

I’m a full fledged adult now.
Baby on the way.
Doing great at my job.
Two promotions away from the top.

I’m actually on the top of my life.

It’s amazing.

tina-fey-30-rock-excited-running

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